28 December 2010

Can a Human Head Spontaneously Combust?

Okay so there are a few reasons I've been MIA.  One of course is the emotional roller coaster my darling, sweet, precious, oh so blinded by love little girl has had me riding since Christmas Eve.  Since I'm not too sure I can still form coherent thoughts, (lack of good sleep, exhaustion, cleaning for upcoming visit, etc.) I'll just make this easy.

Dec. 23
  • Kitty Princess texts me to tell me the bf proposed.
  • I inquire about a ring to find there isn't one.
  • When will there be one?  Maybe spring.
  • What did he get her?
  • Nothing.
  • Kitty Princess texts me to say "hope you didn't tell anyone, it's not happening"
  • I say ummm WTF?
  • She says she'll explain when she gets home.
  • She gets home and it's "on" again.  Everything is fine.
  • Mama Kitty asks very few questions since head is in danger of imminent explosion.
  • We all go night night.

Dec. 24
  • Christmas Eve!  Yay!
  • Kitty Princess wants to know what time bf should come over.
  • Kitty Princess is working til 7.
  • I tell Kitty Princess not a good idea.  She just saw him and Grumama will be all nervous.
  • Kitty Princess agrees and we have a lovely dinner and gift exchange with grandparents.
  • Come home and Kitty Princess gets on the phone with bf.
  • Boyfriend tells her his best friend's parents are getting him and best friend a job in California at a pharmaceutical company.
  • Mama Kitty is happy.
  • Then Mama Kitty finds out he wants her to go with him.
  • Kitty Princess and bf fight.  A lot.
  • Kitty Princess is crying.
  • Hysterically.
  • Boyfriend is going to break up with her.  Engagement is off.
  • Mama Kitty is happy.  Bad Mama Kitty.
  • Mama Kitty explains that bf is an ass.  Tells Kitty Princess that even God couldn't get a job at a pharmaceutical company since God doesn't have a four year degree.
  • Sometime in the wee hours of the morning (after ruining Christmas Eve) bf decides he still loves her and they don't have to go to California.
  • Mama Kitty is not happy again.
  • We all go night night.

Dec. 25
  • Christmas Day!  Yay!
  • Kitty Princess wants to know when she can see boyfriend.
  • Fight ensues when she's told that paternal grandparents are coming over and then we have to go to their house for dinner.  No time for bf to come over.
  • Kitty Princess pouts.
  • Mama Kitty is happy, not about pouting about no bf on Christmas.
  • Enjoy Christmas, opening gifts from in-laws, go to dinner to have repeat of sad from niece who is told SHE can't go home with her bf because it's snowing like a bitch and she has to work the next day and boyfriend lives a zillion miles away.
  • Decide all females under the age of 25 are systematically insane.
  • Come home and Kitty Princess talks to bf rest of night.
  • Boyfriend gets mad at her over World of Warcraft and another fight ensues.
  • Mama Kitty is tired of the fighting by 1:00 a.m. and leaves the Kitty Princess to go to bed.

Dec. 26
  • Kitty Princess works til 9:30
  • Kitty Princess gets off work and bf asks where she's been since he KNOWS that her employer closes at 6 p.m. on Sundays.
  • Mama Kitty is shellshocked that Kitty Princess didn't go the hell off on bf.
  • Apparently bf's best friend worked for two months at GameStop and knows everything there is to know about their practices including holiday hours, amazing since he never worked a holiday hour in his life.
  • Mama Kitty isn't asking any more freaking questions cuz her head is going to explode.

Dec. 27
  • Kitty Princess has day off.  Spends day on phone with bf playing World of Warcraft.
  • Mama Kitty wanted to make cookies and watch movies.
  • Other stuff happened that made Mama Kitty not happy.
  • Mama Kitty went to bed with monster headache and the very real desire to give the hell up.

Dec. 28
  • Blogging is safe.  Mama Kitty shall return to blogging where she can rant and rave and sound like a lunatic about the horrors of bf and having an intelligent, beautiful daughter who is blinded by the thought that love is possible with a good for nothing, worthless, horrible person who doesn't even buy her a gift for Christmas.
And there you have it.  Is it any wonder I can't put more than two words to paper without feeling like my head is going to explode and checking to house to pinpoint the location of every available pointed or sharpened object I own?  Ladies and gentleman, gather round and pray with me that THIS

never, ever, ever, ever, ever happens.  Please and thank you.


  1. You, dear mama kitty have every right to rant and rave... AHHHHH YOUNG LOVE!!!! NOT

  2. Good Gawd!!! I will never ever bug you again when you go on haitus! If I could, I would send you on a vacation to a deserted island so you could get away from it all. Your kitties could come with you, and your daughter if she doesn't bring the bf, and your husband since he seems awesome.

    Anyway, I hope you had a few peaceful moments and that everything works out. :)

  3. HAHAHA great summary. Sounds crazy!! I love getting a peak into the head of a mother of a teenage girl! Hang in there! xo

  4. This might sound crazy, but start praying every night that your daughter is surrounded by an outward facing mirror for protection. The idea is that people see themselves when they look in it. People who are manipulative, liars, users, etc. will suddenly be repelled b/c they will start seeing themselves instead of the kind, sweet girl they were seeing before. Pray it every night and every morning. Don't be surprised if the bf and your daughter start fighting a lot once you start putting the outward facing mirror around her because he will see himself when he looks at her. That relationship won't last long after that. Additionally, she will begin to draw kinder people to her. As in the kind of man you want her to find. Pray for it every night. Every morning. Keep me posted.

  5. Yeah, I'll be the glimpse into the future for all you younglings :p Hopefully your daughters will be less likely to be hypnotized by....ummm....who the HELL knows what, cuz I don't. Bleh. I think I've mentioned I don't like him, so we'll just leave it at that!

    Robin - that's a good idea, never heard that one before, and hey, if it works, he'll run screaming cuz he's just that awful. Ugh. Thanks for the idea, will begin implementation of that one immediately!

  6. man i love how you can keep me hanging on every word i have to pee so bad and i couldn't stop reading.

    anyway, quickly here, this sucks, he sucks. Everything just sucks. But we love you and I agree with you xoxoxo


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