4:00 was my appointment with get this....a psychologist (no awkward humor or nuclear comments allowed here or ELSE! Rawr!) for my disability application.
Now, you're probably wondering how someone like me is eligible for disability. If so, look up the following:
First word means and I quote from a professional medical doctor - "We have no clue what the hell causes it"
Second word hyper meaning excessive or excessively, and somnia meaning to sleep.
It's basically Narcolepsy without the leg tremors and hallucinations. Unless mass quantities of liquor are involved.
There you have it. My doctors were becoming concerned that my sleeping was reaching the point of being a danger to me and others in a working environment. Yes peeps, it's THAT bad.
So today was my appointment. This is the second round since I was denied the first round because and again I quote "The condition can be treated with medication" after I told them 8 billion (at least) times that I've been on the medication for oh about seven years and it's much like popping a tic tac now. I was on Adderall and Ritalin for all those years and before you go WTF? let me tell you that while it's used to treat ADD in children, it has the opposite effect after you reach puberty. Kids + Ritalin = Chill. Adults + Ritalin = well, speed.
Soooo, I'm all okay, we'll do this your way, so this is the transcript from my appointment today.
Hello Ms? Riley? Is it Ms. or Mrs.?
What is the date of today.
Who is the President of the United States.
Point to my left ear.
What do you do during a typical day.
Do you contemplate quantum physics?
Do you pee on a regular basis.
Yes. (No lie.)
Do you think I'm mean, rude, that this exam is ridiculous, and feel as if I'm expecting you to remember what you did while inutero?
Yes. (Also no lie.)
That pretty much sums it up. Okay so I'm exaggerating, but not by much. Do you guys remember how long ago it was since you had appendicitis and how old you were? Or the dates you've worked at every job you've ever had or am I really getting senile in my old age? If given three words to remember and then asked to recite your history from age 2 to present would you remember those damned three words, or again am I losing my mind?
Anyway, I think the whole mean and rude thing was part of the exam for some reason because he actually let up after he had me so frustrated I was in tears (and yes, I loathe admitting that I actually cry like a human being) when he offered me tissues (not Kleenex by the way, a generic - you'd think a PhD could afford Kleenex wouldn't you?) and gave me some websites to see if I could find any research studies or help figuring out what the hell my problem is.
Now I'm playing the waiting game, it'll be about two weeks before the SSA gets his report and who knows how long it'll be before I hear anything, but at least it's over and done with and I don't have to worry about it anymore! So wish me luck and maybe one day can you image? I'll get money from the government to sleep. Does it get any better than that?